If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn't buy one.

If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.



If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.



If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.

A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.



If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.



If a black or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.

Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
(And call conservative blacks Uncle Toms.)


If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.



If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.



If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)